Adoption Update

5/15/2024

I realize I have not posted an update in a while. Thank you for hanging in there with us!

I feel as though everything is happening so fast and slow as molasses all at the same time. After our home study was completed, all our paperwork needed to be compiled and individual child assessments also needed to be completed. Our adoption case worker worked hard on this for us, and once everything was complete, the final application was sent through the appropriate approval levels including the state. It took a few months of waiting for that to happen. In the meantime, we took a family vacation to Ohio and Indiana for the solar eclipse. Traveling with three young kids in a car for so long is… challenging! But it was Oh So Worth It. I loved spending time with our family, and we were able to reconnect with some family members that we hadn’t seen in a very long time. All the adventures we had will not be forgotten! Especially the visit to the fire station and getting to sit in each of the fire trucks and ambulances available! Memories of the fire station and the sun “getting smaller and smaller” are still talked about!

Late April, we received word that our paperwork had been approved! The next steps waiting for us would be to schedule adoptive placement, and then submit a request for a court date. Typically, when the adoptive family/child(ren) finally get to the adoptive placement date, this would start the 6-month period of the child(ren) being in the home. Since we have had these three in our home through fostering, the time they have already spent with us counts towards that 6-month period. We have had these kids in our home for 11 months! Can you believe it?!

We had an adoptive placement date scheduled for the beginning of May. However, this is when things got tricky. Some feelings surfaced on whether or not it was right for us to adopt all three kids. Feelings that maybe it would be better for the kids (and us) if we only adopted two, or not adopt them at all. In addition to us providing them with a good home, we also needed to ensure that we prioritize our health. This was incredibly hard for us both as we struggled to make sense of these feelings. With the immense reward that has come with this adventure, there has also come trying times. Suddenly going from zero kids to three is crazy, and to have them so close in age is even crazier. I am grateful that God has given us the grace and perseverance to go through this process. I also know that without God, our marriage would not have been this strong, and would have been nearly impossible to take all this on.

As much as I wanted to fight against it, I knew that we had to trust ourselves to explore these feelings and trust that everything would work out. I was not happy about it one bit, but it was what was needed for our relationship and our family. After expressing these concerns, we were notified that adoptive placement would be put on hold. Rightfully so, the case worker wanted to ensure that we were going to be dedicated to all three of these kids for the rest of their lives. And since they had been through so much trauma in the past, it was extremely important that they stay together as a group.

So. Many. Emotions….

What if everything fell apart right in that moment? What if it was determined that we were not a good fit for them, and they would be removed from our lives forever? But, also, what would happen if we felt pressured into adopting? Would we be left with resentment towards each other or the kids? Would we still be in good health to be able to live full, long, healthy lives?

This was time that we needed to take for ourselves. Time with no pressure, time to just think. I was utterly heart broken, but put all my trust in Frankie and in God that everything would work out the way that God had planned.

After a few days of feeling the pressure dissipate and reflecting on the situation, we were able to take the time, clear our heads, and come back more refreshed. Trusting in God, we came to the conclusion that God put these kids in our lives for a reason, and that God would always provide. We have since notified the appropriate team members and today we signed paperwork for adoptive placement!!

Next steps…. Setting a court date for finalization, and hopefully soon after, we can have the kids baptized.